火

火，我是火。

无法忍受冰冷。

火，我在燃烧。

熄灭便是尽头。

火，是光。

火，是温暖。

火，是希望。

火，我想点燃一切。

燃烧，炽热。

With your fire, burn in me,

Burn in me with your fire,

I cannot stand cold and boring.

Fire, kindle the spirit and passion.

Fire, stir the shout of praise and the heart for the world.

11月21日，生日的前两天，做完了最后的答辩。很高兴，真的很高兴，我知道我被无数祷告托住。尽管之前有焦虑，有恐慌，没有更多的时间准备，只在一两个晚上，匆匆赶出工作，但依旧我要把它做好，毕竟，这是我一年半硕士生涯的总结。我很感恩，没有过度紧张到忘记内容；我很感恩，反应还算机敏地回答了所有问题；我很感恩，我所想表达的都很清楚的传达出来，并且得到理解；我很感恩，终于，一个大卡儿过去了。放松，心中那压着太久的石头终于挪开。

很快，新的历程就要开始。虽然有惧怕和不确定，但我有更大的信心，我已试目以待，侧耳聆听，全身投入，等待那未知的挑战。

Finally, I have done my entire project including the oral presentation just two days before my birthday.  I am joyful, really joyful. I know that I have been upheld by so many prayers. Even though I was panic, fear and anxious about not enough time to prepare, which I only prepared for two nights, I did wish I could do it perfect. After all, it is milestone that I have been in Master program. I am grateful for not too nervous to remember what I planned to present; I am grateful for responding all the answers confident; I am grateful for pros and fellows getting what I meant; I am grateful! Finally, I got through it. I always have a hard time to speak in public, especially in English. Yet, today I did get through the fear and nerve. I am thankful!

Soon, very soon, a brand new journey is about to unfold in front of me. Though I have fears and uncertainties, I have much faith. I am getting ready for the adventure to the unknown.

I am grateful that God grant me dear, dear friends who love me so much.

Even though friends cheer me up, my heart is hurting still.

The closeness, the empathy, I cannot find.

It hurts, when God breaks me. It does hurt.

I am wondering when it will end.

This journey is extremely hard for me.

People, which I am passion about yet make me frightened and hurt most.

I am here for people, this is His calling.

but, who for me?

I hate to admit, but the loneliness choked me.

The weights I carry press me.

 I am exhausted.

 But where could I have a rest?

Where could I just be who I am.

Where could I share the burdens?

I know I am not a child who can be shielded under the wings of parents any more.

But I do need a haven to rest, to unload the weights.

God, you know me.

I thank you for breaking my old self;

I thank you for molding me as your image.

It’s you who gives me peace;

It’s you who carries my loads;

It’s you who strengthens me.