Waithing, waiting for the sentence.

Have no idea what is ahead.

It’s getting close though.

Bow the head, waiting for the sentence.

No matter how much piercing inside,

Yet what is outside following is daunting.

 Eyes are watered, knowing this is inevitable.

One day, one hour, even one minute could be a relief, an escape.

Knowing it’s getting close.

God is teaching me a hard lesson, a lesson on obedience.

He is uprooting the wicked roots deep in my life.

It’s been too stubborn grasping my soul.

So to speak, it terribly hurts.

It also immensely trigger other parts.

A quake explodes.

“I will restore everything.” He gently said.

It’s all about obedience.

This time, I choose to obey no matter how hard it is, how impossible it looks.

I heard, that I will obey.  

 

Every since I remember these ten days, I can’t help being moved to tears of gratitude.

God brought me to Vancouver in 2007. For his grace, four friends out of China came with me to my hometown in 2009.

We walked, walked and prayed, prayed on campuses. Going back to where I studied, where my brothers and sisters are serving, where my fellows are getting ready for the future, I can’t thank God enough. We prayed over campuses at the beginning of a new semester as Joshua obeyed God to pray over Jericho till the wall falling apart. We didn’t see with our eyes but in our heart we firmly believe prayers bring God’s mighty power which can even move mountains.

Calling upon Jesus’ name in murmuring, I couldn’t hold my tears at the Great Mosque. The intensive spiritual strongholds overwhelm this place and lives upon it. There is a fairly big Muslim community in this city. Just about I left for Canada, they started the Ramadan. I watched hundreds of Muslims worshiping Allah in the mosque. They bowed and bowed. The great fear hung over them. I grew up in this Muslim district, for the first time my heart is burdened for those worshipers.

To meet my dear brothers and sisters again indeed rejoiced me very much. I left only two years, but there are much more unfamiliar faces at just one church . I knew they’ve been growing exceedingly. Praise the Lord! They are keen to improve their English. Since I went back, I was asked to have ESL class every night except Saturday. While having class with them, not just did I teach their English, moreover, we shared and listened. God literally spoke to me through their sincere sharing. Nothing can be more beautiful than to witness Christ-like hearts. When the team came, I took a break. They all greatly enjoyed the ESL. Every night, after a full day of intense work, the team prepared well for ESL, and people came to hotel to discuss interesting questions, learn conversational phrases, play games, etc. It was an intimate time for both sides to know each other.

A whole day, 9am to 9pm, we had training seminars at hotel and lecture in the evening. A dozen young leaders at church came with hunger and teachable hearts. The team gave profound teachings respectively on leadership definition, leader’s character, leadership in general and Christianity, and how to deal with conflict. Not to mention how much it affects and helps those leaders, I personally was touched and imparted by their teaching and sharing. The most impressed part is when came across leader’s character—integrity is a core. I very soon was put up to leadership position after became a Christian. Passion was my mark. God graciously granted me fruit of discipleship. I was at its high of rollercoaster. However, cruel reality displays the part beneath the iceberg. No matter how splendor it looks up the top, when the foundation has cracks, it will all fall apart in a blink of an eye. I grew without growing in character. So for me, not just translated word by word, it struck me as well.

God never leaves His children. I experienced tremendous forgiveness and mercy on this trip. It’s totally beyond my perception. It seems God is teaching me a new lesson which to receive His love through His people. He’s revealing to me a whole new realm of His character. Five of us, from different countries and backgrounds, united amazingly by God’s love. It at the time occurred strange moments. Thankfully, out of obedience we came together in time, confessed and prayed. I confessed that I at the beginning didn’t feel like one in the team. My task mentality drove me to the point where I had to face my attitude. I understand clearly that division even just in heart will bring unspeakable harm for the team. I won’t forgive myself that my little willfulness festers a team long way from the other side of the world just for the sake of loving God and China. I didn’t flee, instead, came close and shared it on the table. We prayed and God made good its broken places.

The journey did rekindle my first love for God. To see brothers and sisters come together and pray in one heart, I was reminded to devote myself to prayer. To see brothers and sisters serve in any given situation, I was reminded not to complain but to always be thankful and to persevere. To see millions of souls are waiting for salvation, I was reminded to be obedience to “go and make disciples of all nations.”

Soul, what God cares most, is at stake. The wars, plagues, nations against nations, earthquakes, and on are happening within sight. How much time do we left? Not very much! The innocents are dying. The blood is shedding. Who then is able to bring hope? It’s you, you, you, … You who are entitled as follower of Christ! Jesus came to become a flesh, to obey the Father to die on the cross. He didn’t argue; he didn’t make an excuse; instead, he obeyed to go up the cross and bear all the sins of humans. Was he hurt? Indeed! Was it worth? Indeed!

God of redemption brought me back, to a land which was foreign to me yet now home to me. God of Almighty took me back, to a people among which I was an alien yet now I am one of them.

With all my heart, may the name of God be glorified.

You are who you are for a reason.

You are part of an intricate plan.

You are a precious and perfect unique design,

Called God’s special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.

Our God made no mistake.

He knit you together within the womb,

You are just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,

And no matter how you may feel,

They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind,

And they bear the Master’s seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.

And God wept that it hurt you so;

But it was allowed to shape your heart

So that into his likeness you’d grow.

You are who you are for a reason,

You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod.

You are who you are, beloved,

Because there is a God!!!

                                                        Russell Kelfer

 

Faith is risking what is for what is yet to be.

It is taking small steps knowing they lead to bigger ones.

Faith is holding on when you want to let go.

It is letting go when you want to hold on.

Faith is saying yes when everything else says no.

It is believing all things are possible in the midst of impossibilities

Looking beyond what is and trusting for what will be.

It is the presence of light in darkness the presence of God in all.

                                                                               Ellen M. Cuomo